You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Houston, we have a squirter
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize