It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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