We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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