he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
