so explain again why im purple
no
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Michael Bay diarrhea
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
