I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
