I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
