He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
