i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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