Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize