2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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