Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
