She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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