You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
