i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize