Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
