It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
