whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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