Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
