Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize