i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
