Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
