how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
