my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
