Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
