ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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