they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
