I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize