AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
