i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
