rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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