Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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