At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
