Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
