we're blogging at a bar
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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