Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
