Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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