She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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