Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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