Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I love you. Go after that dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
