we have pet lesbian snakes
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
