I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
