She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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