I wanna bring you to show and tell
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
