you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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