people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
