hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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