i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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