considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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