Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
