There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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