epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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