No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
