Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
