and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
