First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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